Keep on going

I have been listening to Turkish for the past year. It's not so easy to understand some of these people. Previously, all the Turks I met were from Ankara or Konya which I became accustomed to. It was easier to understand them. Now, however, I've met several Turks from the Black Sea region and their accent is much more difficult to understand. Also, when I am sitting there, no one takes the time to slow down their speech and make sure I can understand - which is totally fine with me. It makes it more difficult for me, but that's how to learn; and when they are speaking Turkish, it's usually in a casual, social atmosphere and there's no reason to make them struggle to speak English when I'm the only native speaker in the room.

This year has been a blur. I was working a lot and dealing with a lot of personal issues. That's what growing up is, right? I don't regret these things happening, they will make me stronger, but it certainly is unpleasant to push through hard times. Of course, resilience comes from pushing on and that's the attitude I've had to have sometimes.

I still haven't returned to Turkey and I'm not sure when I will be able to. I have an itch to travel internationally again. I miss the disconcerting, uncomfortable feeling of being in a place that I don't fully understand and exploring new places. I am ready for a new atmosphere. But, my situation at the moment makes it a difficult thing to do, so I just sit patiently and wait for the right opportunity.

None of this has to do with Turkey...I've discovered two groups in the area (as I said before) that are very helpful. Unfortunately, with my work schedule, it has been rather difficult to attend any of their functions regularly. I try to go to the meetings, which are educational - mostly about Islam, but where I work is open until 10 or later, so it's hard. Then, there is an organization about an hour away that has Turkish courses (mostly for immigrant's children) and also English classes.

This September I received certification to teach English as a Second Language and I would love to use this to support myself in another country. Obviously, I would be most comfortable in Turkey, but I don't know when I will get the courage to leave the US and go out into the great big world again. As I get older, it seems a little scarier. Maybe because when I come back, I don't know what will be here for me and it's a little scary to leave the situation I am in (especially a fairly decent job) and jump. But, at some point, I'm just going to have to take the leap.

Back to Turkey? Teaching English? Traveling the world? Who knows what is next? :) Kendine iyi bak, iyi sansli...

Found - Turkish organization!

Hello All (haha, like there's anyone out there at this point, really...)

I have an update - went to my university and visited my wonderful Turkish friend there. Miss her so much - and Turkey - and Turkish food!

Also, found that there are at least TWO (!!!!!!!!) organizations near my home that focus on Turkish culture and learning the language. I know one group is led by Cemaat members, but at this point, Turkish is Turkish and I miss hearing it. The other focuses more on Islam education, but since it's mostly Turkish members, it still helps.

Now, if only I could find the time to visit...hope to soon (so I can have more to post about!).

UPDATE

Long time no...write?

Sorry it's been soooooooooo long since I've posted anything. I have been doing the following:

-working
-sleeping
-working
-working
-working
-visiting friends
-working
-learning to cook baklava (YAY!)
and...
-working!

So, I hope everyone (if there's anyone left!) can understand, commiserate, and anticipate further posts!

I have been working constantly AND being able to visit with Mustafa! It's wonderful!

I am really happy that he is here. I've been learning a lot about Turks - out of their homeland, it's a little easier to see the contrasts with my own ideas - and about being in a relationship. uggg...relationships are hard! But, totally worth it! :)

For anyone interested, I have NOT been back to Turkey since I returned in January. I am hoping to go back soon, but that's a rather vague time frame. Right now, Mustafa and I are trying to get on track with our lives. It's not very easy. No one seems to be hiring and I'm not sure if that's because of an actual economic "crisis" or because of the fear of one. I'd like to find a wonderful job that makes me happy involving ANY of the following fields:
-international relations (on a personal level - not necessarily political)
-international aid
-intranational aid
-social service
-community service/organization
-non profit
All of which, of course, don't find funding easy in situations and times like these. But, I hope and apply for positions and keep going where I am now because anything is better than nothing.

And, as I said, I've learned to cook baklava. I tried a few other dishes, but so far this has received the best response from Mustafa and some other Turks. I made some sutlac (like sweet rice pudding) earlier this summer but it didn't go over too well - not enough sugar. ;(

So, for now, I hope everyone can accept that as enough news.
I will try to keep posting more regularly - about Mustafa and Turks and "Turkishness" and all the trials and tribulations of cultural clashing.

Hope all is well!

UPDATES

So I have not wrıtten ın a long tıme... what have I been up to? Just working!

Yep, that's right, just working.

Of course, I am lucky enough to work with international students, so work has not been too bad - I've even been able to practice speaking in Turkish and have been immersed in Turkish conversations a lot. It's a great way to still feel connected to Turkey, although I still really miss it.

I hope to go back soon, but it's difficult because I am a recent graduate without a full time job and student debt. Plus, Mustafa is here in the US now and I can't imagine going to Turkey without him...

So, I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry I've been a terrible blogger recently. Now that I'm adjusted to my *crazy* work schedule, I will try to post more often!

Kendine iyi bak! (Take care of yourself!)

The MOVIE! :D

So, I am finally posting the MOVIE. I hope that you have learned enough through my blog to understand the context of this information. Some things will be repetitive (actually a lot of things), but I hope it will also make you laugh a little. I tried to throw in a little humor and cover some of the deeper issues at the same time.

This will be used in the presentations I plan to do in local high schools (let me know if you're interested, Virginia teachers!). Hopefully, it will expand the basic knowledge people have while giving a bit of personal insight into my experiences.

I really loved my semester and I can't wait to go back. I encourage everyone - student, teacher, young, old, boy, girl, rich, poor - to go out and visit a new country. It's a little daunting, but it's also amazing. And your life is so much richer afterwards!

I just want to add that for a few of the songs, I have no idea what the lyrics are. I really tried to find out the lyrics or (poorly) translate them by myself so that I would have some idea about what I was putting behind certain pictures. However, there were a few that I just couldn't find. If they end up being crude, rude, or in any way offensive - I'm sorry!

If you would like to know the name or singer/group for a certain song, just let me know!

Well, without further ado. For your enjoyment....

:D

Really back in America

I don't know how, but I've somehow managed to imagine that I could be here and there at the same time. That life in Turkey wasn't so far away and that jumping on a plane wasn't such an impossibility.

But, now, with just two weeks left of my undergraduate career, I have to face the facts. I still have a lot to do - finish the movie, make my presentations (any east coast teachers interested?!), and find a job. I've got a summer thing lined up, but after October, I'll need something "real."

I'd love to go back to Turkey. Everyone is asking when I will return, but it's undetermined. I have no timeline. Right now, I am focusing on the movie and finishing up the requirements for both my scholarship and my degree. Neither of which is easy. Sometime in May, I will finally be able to sit down and look at my life and say "This is what I'm going to do." Now, it's just "what will happen this week."

I should be stressed. I should be sleepless. In fact, I have never felt so relaxed.

What will come next? I don't know, but I am sure it will be interesting.

Reading this blog? Sign up as a Follower!

If anyone is consistently following my blog, please let me know by following! There is a gadget below the "Welcome" section to the right where you can sign up.

I would really appreciate it if readers signed up to follow because the purpose of this blog (besides my own enjoyment) is to educate the online community and to serve as a tool - especially for teachers - to show life in a global/international context.

In addition, I have to report results to the scholarship committee. Knowing how many people out there were interested in this blog would really help with the report.

Also, some AWESOME NEWS!
I am working on the video right now and hopefully it will be ready in the next few weeks.
If anyone has specific areas or topics they'd like to see in the film or that they think would be really interesting, please let me know!

That's all for now.

Don't forget to sign up as a follower!

Thanks!

Catching up..

In a number of ways, I need to catch up. I need to write here what I've been up to. I need to complete some unfinished work (for the scholarship I received, for the blog, for life in general). I need to talk to old friends. I need to reconnect with myself, my dreams, my hopes, my inner thoughts.

So, this is going to be a short entry just to let everyone (if there is anyone at all) know that I am still thinking about the blog and processing ideas for it.

Adjusting to life back here has been difficult in a lot of unrecognizable ways. I didn't expect to be frustrated with somethings. I didn't expect to be happy about others. Sometimes, I feel like nothing has changed at all and sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy trying to put two very different worlds and experiences together.

I miss Turkish tea. I miss my host family. I miss trying to get one sentence out about my day in another language without stumbling over the verb conjugation. I miss learning new things and rejoicing in a new level of understanding. I miss smelling new foods on the street and being confused by some new social norm. I miss seeing headscarves all around me (although, luckily, I am still in school and there's a large international and Muslim student body here).

At the same time, I am happy to have my own family close by. I am happy to have Dr. Pepper. I am happy to have prepackaged foods and my own level of salt in my meals. I am happy that I can express myself clearly and easily whenever I want. I am happy that I do not have to stumble to ask for help. I am happy that I can eat plain old cereal for breakfast and that my yogurt is sweet and flavored like fruits. I am happy I don't have to worry about the legality of a headscarf. I am happy that I can meet new people and not be that "new, foreign girl."

It's a weird mixture of missing and happiness. As the time passes, it's even harder to remember exactly what the air smelled like or what it feels like to be surrounded by a language you don't fully comprehend. It's growing fainter, like a dream.

But, I'm trying to hold on to it!

I am taking a Turkish class at my university (they FINALLY are offering it!) and also a class about minorities in Turkey - taught by an AMAZING Turkish student with several other Turks in attendance. I will have a few things to say regarding both of these classes in the next posts.

Well, for now, I will leave it at this. I miss Turkey immensely. Some of the students from my group already have plans to go back. I wish very, very deeply that I could, but I'm going to be responsible and work to pay back some of my student loans. I miss it a lot. And, because I both love, hate, miss, and wish good riddance to it, I know I am inextricably and forever tied to the place.

I will have more to say about Turkey. Don't worry. It's coming.

Just wait.

:)

Different styles in different regions

One thing that truly marks Turkey is the variation across its area. From the edge of its Westernmost border with Bulgaria to its Easternmost with Iran and Iraq, no area has exactly the same styles of dressing traditionally. Of course, Gap, Dolce and Gabbana, and Tommy Hilfiger have stormed the country, but in the villages - and sometimes in the cities - there is still a great diversity in how people dress. Here, I will try to show some examples although it is certainly not comprehensive and most of them will come from more eastern areas.

In the cities, in general, people dress just like anyone from the United States. Jeans and t-shirts are very common, although it does seem that people take a little more consideration of what they wear. Sweatpants and sweatshirts were not nearly as common on my Turkish campus as they are on the US one.

The one exception to the "just like everyone else" dressing can be found among girls who are religiously minded and choose to express this in their clothing. Religiously minded boys might also have a slightly different dressing style, but in general girls are the most noticeable. This is because these girls (known by various names - turban girls, covered/closed girls, or tesettűr girls) generally wear a headscarf. I never took any pictures of them for some reason, but I found this one of the internet. It is a fair example of these girls. They are quite fashionable and the headscarf fashion is a big economy in Turkey now. Girls like this dress very nicely and their scarves come in all kinds of colors and patterns.

http://www.medyafaresi.com/?hid=6812&cid=6

Next, I have an example from the Mersin/Adana region. This man is wearing what I call "tent pants." I know that is not the correct name, but I couldn't find out from anyone what the Turkish word for them was. Now, I find this unique because in the southeast near the coast, I only saw men wearing these pants, but in central Anatolian villages, a lot of middle-aged and older women wear pants just like these but sold in softer, more patterned fabrics!

And, moving eastward we come to somewhere between Kars and Van. I saw several women with their scarves tied like this. In general, I only saw plain white scarves in two places- the easternmost cities and Cappadocia. The women in the east wore white scarves layered around their heads and then secured with another colorful scarf like a crown. I am not sure, but I think I heard someone say that the colorful scarf can be (or historically was) used to mark which family a women came from. But, that's completely uncertain.

And, moving a little further south to Doğubayazıt, this man is probably Iranian. I saw only a very, very few men wearing headscarves like this one. When I asked our guide he said they were not common and that probably he was not an ethnic Turk. BUT, he was still in Turkey, so it counts!

These next two pictures come from a very small Kurdish village near Van. The woman was baking bread. There was another woman with her and when she noticed us taking pictures, she made sure her scarf was properly positioned.

One guide said the little girl was dressed for a wedding and then another said this was a normal way to dress for Kurds. I am not sure which is correct, but seeing as I could hear a wedding party proceeding, I tend to believe it was for the party - especially since the other children in this picture are dressed "normally."

And, lastly, back to the center. This woman was walking through a small town in Cappadocia. I saw four other women dressed like her and it was the only time I ever saw women with a long, free flowing white scarf like this and then another, smaller one to cover the face.

In these pictures, some of the faces are blacked out either because I was not able to ask for permission or because I do not want to break the subject's code of modesty. In others, nothing is blacked out because the subjects were clearly comfortable with their attire and walking in a public area.

So, you can see here some of the diversity that Turkey encompasses. And, each difference in dress is also characterized by differences in opinion, culture, maybe language, and background, so the society is really facing a lot of issues when trying to come to terms with its heterogeneity.

Turkish Delights! (Dessert!!!)

No, this post is not about lokum - what is known in English as Turkish delight. It is about Turkish Desserts! Dessert might just be my favorite part of any meal and here are a few of the outstanding examples from Turkey:

My host mom loved to make pudding... I know that is not exactly Turkish, but she did it in such a unique and professional way that I really want to include a picture of it. Inside the pudding, at the bottom of every bowl was a cookie and the pudding would soak into it and make it moist, then sometimes she would add orange to the pudding for added flavor, and on top of it all she would slice bananas and sprinkle coconut powder! Delicious!

Another dish she loved to make (and made very, very well) was aşure (pronounced: ashureh). This is a very traditional and special dessert. There is a special month in which lots of people usually prepare aşure and tradition requires that, once made, the preparer shares it with everyone they know. I mentioned we had aşure at Thanksgiving, but that was not the normal time. Usually it is prepared after a few weeks after Kurban Bayram (the month is according to the Muslim calender, so I am not sure when it actually started). Aşure is special because it commemorates the end of the flood which Noah survived. At the end of the long rains the only food left in the ship was grains and dried things, so aşure usually has rice, maybe some other grains, sugar (lots of it!), nuts, beans, and dried fruit. And, there should always be at least 7 ingredients. Here is a picture of all the aşure bowls poured out. My host mom always put crushed almonds and walnuts with pomegranate seeds on top to finish the recipe!

And, of course, what would life in Turkey be like without baklava?! Here are two handmade versions (which are usually different from store bought). My boyfriend's mother made these in preparation for Kurban Bayram.

This shows the kind of variation that you can find in desserts...both of these are baklava even though they look really different!

And, this last one is called helva. It is a made from semolina (which is crushed up wheats). It has a really strange consistency (although, helva actually has lots of variations). This one is usually served warm with some powdered pistachio on top...but it takes some time to get used to it. And some people hate it!

Well, this is just the beginning of Turkish desserts...I could eat just desserts there, but then I wouldn't have any space for the bread, kebabs, and everything else!